A Christian Without A Church Is Still A Christian
When my family stopped going to church a few years ago, quite a few Christians told me (with some Bible quotes thrown in for good measure) that Christians were supposed to spend time together. My family was supposed to go to church anyway regardless of whether it in my area fit my family, my belief system or my understanding of God.
But I had been going to “church anyway” for too long. The last church we attended upheld our social and political beliefs, but the congregation was small and not as child-friendly as we needed at the time. Before and after leaving there, we found churches that were filled with beautiful, hand-raising praise music and young families, but I did not want to put a dime in the basket because I could not let my money go to the ministries used to judge and hurt other human beings.
A year ago, we finally gave up on finding a church and began to officially home-church, but I think we have home-churched our children their entire lives. My kids don’t know to ignore homeless people or to not say hello to crack addicts. We have ministered to many people who are often overlook as Christianity has taught us. Sometimes we go as a family and other times my children watch my husband or I go out to help others.
More importantly, I don’t introduce those suffering or struggling as LOOK WHO WE ARE HELPING. We don’t mock them behind their backs with self-pitying looks or smug notions of our ability to live better. When my kids ask why we give a dollar or sandwich or a ride, I explain in broad terms that we all have struggles including our own family. We are helping those who need help now just as people have helped us and will help us again someday.
We should all have home-churches. I’m not advocating everyone walk out on their Sunday places of worship, but Monday through Saturday should be church days, too. I believe in ministering to the people who are here. I believe in living the compassion that is taught in the Bible. I believe that God is both personal and shared. Our homes must be our churches. Our neighborhoods. Our cities. Our countries. Our world.
I am no less a Christian, living a Christian life, because I am out caring for humanity on Sunday rather than sitting in a pew.
About the writer: Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in Philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, writer, and Christian liberal by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog except when it’s serious about life, parenting, marriage, culture, religion and politics. She has a muse of a husband, two young kids and a readership that gives her hope for humanity.
I gave up long ago trying to find a church in my small rural community for the very same reasons that you have stated. I struggled with feeling that I was a bad parent because I didn’t expose my children to church. Now that my children are grown I realize that the influence they received at home was enough for them to become the kind, loving, charitable, accepting people that we all want are children to be. I believe that a person who lives their life in a Christ-like fashion is a far better person than one who goes to church faithfully but fails to live accordingly. I once worked for a woman who hounded her non-church going employees to go to attend. “It’s not enough just to be a good person. You HAVE to go to church too!” This same person used an employee training program that she pirated from someone else and she was known to regularly cheat employees on commissions. I quit after only a few months. I didn’t feel good about being associated with such a hypocrite. I’ve come to the conclusion that many of the people who feel the need to loudly declare their faith, do so because they are hiding something about themselves that they don’t want others to know.
I agree with what Sharil has seen completely because I’ve seen it for myself. I have no problem with the concept of church, itself, but I do have a problem with the hypocrites who infest it, who sit in judgement of their own brothers and sisters, and who refuse to help those same brothers and sisters when they fall down. I feel that if Jesus were to come back today He would be very disappointed in the ‘churches’ established in His name. They have more in common with the Pharisees than they do with Christ’s disciples.
My wife and I, home-church, and I like that word immensely. When we moved to where we live now, we came into conflict with churches that practiced ‘bi-annual exorcisms’, had video preachers or services that were more rock concert than a focus on God, others ostracized certain members at social gatherings for the amount of money in their pocket, or preached a chauvinism that de-evolves our spouses and daughters from being ‘family’ to just ‘property’ to do our bidding. The church gossipers were happy to brag about the failings of their neighbors yet hid their own family skeletons from view.
That is not the ‘change of heart’ that Jesus wanted from us. There are too many Christians in churches in ‘name only’ and not in ‘deed’ too. Their words and actions just do not equal each other.
Jesus did not want buildings or statues in His name. He told His disciples bluntly that His church would be where two gather in His name. Well, since my wife and I are two, and our kids make 5, I’d say we qualify as a church in Jesus’s definition of it.
I honor the author’s point. Going to church does not a Christian make. That said, I tend to not care for dichotomies. Instead, as a progressive Christian, I tend to embrace a both/and approach. Serving God’s people “out in the world” matters – a lot. However, participating in a local church is part of how I follow Jesus’ example (a regular synagogue-goer) … and it’s a very helpful boot-camp/home base to help me with my behavior out in the world. It provides a community for me to love and be loved by, to experience conflict with, and forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation; it helps me to grow in empathy and compassion; and to be better educated about the faith — all helping me to be a better Christian when I’m not in church.
whoops forgot to type out my name! : )
Just this week, after nearly two decades, I gave up being defensive about not attending church. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to find a community that was both comfortable and challenging. Unfortunatel, I live in a small place on the coast of SC, and there are no churches, no communities as such in this area. I completely identify with your article… Charis
An article I recently read said that being an active Christian included sharing your faith with other people. I think you’re doing just that. With your family. You’re not just pondering in the woods alone. You’re out with your people…doing.