I didn’t see him often because he was always moving about. But those few times we spoke together, were enough to last me a lifetime – maybe an accumulation of only four or five hours total.
First off, he had a fantastic sense of humor! He seemed to chuckle constantly deep inside of himself at life’s foibles, as if he understood completely what was going on with people. His smile could put out a fire.
Next, he had an inner power beyond anything I’ve ever known, except perhaps a charging angry male lion. He could curdle your blood with one fiery glance. He could destroy anyone just with his will, but I never saw or heard of him using it in that way – but I knew he could if he wanted to.
He was unbelievably gentle, loving, kind, caring. I can’t imagine the scope of human behavior he was capable of. And his knowledge of life and people and the universe was inconceivable.
As for him being God, I can understand people claiming that, because I felt that kind of presence when with him. It was as if his body was generating a dense magnetic field that my own body could feel if I got within a few feet of him. It felt warm, even hot, a physical feeling like being inside a microwave machine. That is, it penetrated.
And he worked. He worked hard. He seemed to constantly be working on himself – to be awake – to be alive – to move – to develop himself into the ever-increasing higher levels of human evolution, to strive to invite the energies of the universe to connect with him, and he with it. He suffered – deeply. I couldn’t know all the reasons, but it seemed he knew that it took suffering and constant attention to whatever his personal disciplines were – to maintain the state of being he chose to endure and to manifest.
For those of us who chose to stay close to him through those few intense years, we too began to develop into our higher selves, with the result that wherever we went, we somehow influenced the world around us. But nothing like what he did.
I now know that such an inner spiritual evolutionary aim is possible for anyone – in any religion – and even in a devoted secular life. The only thing remaining is how far an individual wants to go. And it requires not only the personal innermost effort, but a sharing similar engagement with others.
This is what I learned from him.