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How to experience a living relationship with God

Question and Answer

 
Georgina of Leland, Lancashire, U.K. writes:

 
Question:
“How can I help other people have the experience of a living relationship with God?”

Answer: By Gretta Vosper
 
The most enduring challenge faced by those who want to help others have the experience of a living relationship with God is our utter refusal to come up with a succinct definition of god that everyone will agree upon. Further complicating the challenge provided by the sheer number of ideas we are left with about the god we call God, is our assumption that everyone else shares the same idea we have. I think it was Peter Jennings, in a convocation address to Carleton University, who named our penchant for assuming that even people we know nothing about believe exactly the same way that we do, “the Vanna White Syndrome”.

I don’t usually think in terms of a relationship with God; rather, I would consider relationships to either increase the god in the world or destroy it. My beliefs about god are wrapped up in that which, by virtue of my humanity, I am compelled to create in the world. It is the goodness that is mine to bring about, the delight that is mine to share, the healing that is mine to commence, the justice that is mine to demand. When I do these things, I create god in the world. The relationship aspect of it is what is built between me and myself, another person, the planet, or a generation I will never live to meet. When what we create in relationship with one another or ourselves is sacred, by which I mean something so crucial to the dignity of our humanity that we cannot risk denigrating or losing it, then we have created god. Relationships that honour the beauty and human dignity of the other are relationships that increase god. And, goodness knows, we need more of those relationships.

It isn’t too hard to figure out what the opposite of those relationships would be like. Any time we refuse to bring love, caring, compassion, we refuse to create god in those relationships. It may be that you cannot be compassionate with someone else because being compassionate with yourself is the priority at that moment. Honour that. But when we choose to use someone for our own purposes or put someone down because they are not like us, then, using my definition, we reduce the god in the world. Or, in secular terms, we reduce the good in the world. We can ill afford to diminish good in the world.

Living beauty, goodness, and truth into all the relationships you possibly can would, in my opinion and experience, be the perfect way to provide a living – in a very real sense – relationship with God for another. The strength of what you create together will provide lasting benefit to you both in situations you may never realize. It is a win win situation for both of you. And the world. A win, win, win!

I don’t use the word “god” with many people in my life anymore. I’ve mostly added the extra “o” and moved onto the use of “good”. It makes it easier to explore, especially when understandings of what constitutes good diverge. When they do, we are much less sensitive about exploring our different understandings than we are when those differences are couched in ideas about the god called God.

I would encourage you, Georgina, to continue to place goodness – god, if you must – in your relationships but carefully consider what the consequence of demanding that your family, friends, or acquaintances think and speak and order their universes as do you. Have a vibrant conversation about what good might be, but let that enrich your relationships without the requirement of language that discomforts many people. I think that, if you do, you will not only witness the strengthening of “go(o)d” in your own world, you will witness it strengthening the lives of those around you.

~ Gretta Vosper

This Q&A was originally published on Progressing Spirit – As a member of this online community, you’ll receive insightful weekly essays, access to all of the essay archives (including all of Bishop John Shelby Spong), and answers to your questions in our free weekly Q&A. Click here to see free sample essays.

About the Author

The Rev. Gretta Vosper is a United Church of Canada minister who is an atheist. Her best selling books include With or Without God: Why The Way We Live is More Important Than What We Believe, and Amen: What Prayer Can Mean in a World Beyond Belief. She has also published three books of poetry and prayers.

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