Question & Answer

 
Q: By Glenda Poole

I was raised in the Bible Belt as a Southern Baptist (shudder). I have attended may different types of churches in my life and have always likened myself to being spiritual instead of religious. I recently discovered John Shelby Spong, and have been devouring his books which have answered many of the questions and doubts that have come to my mind over the years. This web site has opened my mind and made me realize I am not alone in my beliefs and doubts. Now having come this far, I realize because of my strict religious upbringing my viewpoints would fall on deaf ears with my family and friends here in the south. This is how they were raised and they would not dare step out of that box.

I have always struggled with the judgement of so called Christians, the suffering of the Jews during the Holocaust, and the fact that people believe that because they are special God favors them. So, why am I going through withdrawal from something that I have suspected for a long time?

A: By Kevin G. Thew Forrester, Ph.D.

 
Dear Glenda

One of our deepest fears as human beings is that of being alone. Even if what matters most to our hearts falls upon “deaf ears,” if those ears belong to family and friends, our attachment runs deep – to the quick, really. Even if we suspect that something is no longer true we can find ourselves clinging to it deep within, because we feel it keeps us connected and that without it, however much pain it might bring us, we would be alone.

I acknowledge and respect the courage to question, to wonder, and to follow the truth as you experience it in your own life. In reality, if we love the truth (not truth in an abstract sense, but the in the sense of what is authentic in our personal experience) it has its costs.
And yet there is nothing quite as sweet as coming to dwell freely and solidly, without defense, in in the land of our own soul. There is nothing quite as sacred as tending to the questions that matter most to your heart, mind, and body.

“Withdrawal” is such an exquisitely accurate description, because there is an addictive quality to our desire, our need, for the approval of others, especially when those others are family, friends, church and society. Be kind to yourself, for you are on the only journey that truly matters – the journey of becoming an authentic human being and it is “the road less travelled.” Find others who share your passion for discovery and questioning. And, perhaps the “crisis” is an invitation to greater intimacy with yourself, your longings, your desires, your unique journey. What a tremendous gift to be at rest when alone with your own soul, regardless of what others think or feel or, especially, judge as best.

~Kevin G. Thew Forrester, Ph.D.

This Q&A was originally published on Progressing Spirit – As a member of this online community, you’ll receive insightful weekly essays, access to all of the essay archives (including all of Bishop John Shelby Spong), and answers to your questions in our free weekly Q&A. Click here to see free sample essays.

About the Author
Kevin G. Thew Forrester, Ph.D. is an Episcopal priest, a student of the Diamond Approach for over a decade, as well as a certified teacher of the Enneagram in the Narrative Tradition. He is the founder of the Healing Arts Center of St. Paul’s Church in Marquette, Michigan, and the author of five books, including “I Have Called You Friends“, “Holding Beauty in My Soul’s Arms“, and “My Heart is a Raging Volcano of Love for You” and “Beyond my Wants, Beyond my Fears: The Soul’s Journey into the Heartland“.