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Oops. Seem to have had a revelation…

Revelations 101
I’m not 100% certain how to deliver these messages that I have.
I’m not sure if you are one of the people who is supposed to heed my words. I’m not sure who other than an ass, tells people they had a revelation and then uses the word heed.

Rational people don’t have revelations.
Or at least we aren’t supposed to have revelations.

So, I claim to have had a revelation, and that means I must be nuts.

But, I’m not nuts.
On the other hand, I am a little wacka-doodle and have to admit something.

About 10 years ago, I made up a pretend friend, an archangel named Pen-uel. In this fantasy world, Pen-uel works in The Courts of the HeavensDepartment of Art and Records.

Sometimes, I pretend to have gotten a phone call or a message from Pen-uel.

For example, let’s say I am talking with someone still teetering towards converting to Judaism—I might jokingly pretend to take a call from Pen-uel letting me know that God is officially happy with the reverso converso.

I know that is make-believe.
My revelations are not.
Don’t ask. I don’t have details about how I got these revelations or why.

Though, I can get a certificate saying I had a genuine revelation.
I know a guy.

Two apologies

I apologize for my revelation for two reasons:

1. Religion
Individual revelations have been the basis of hurting many, and apologies must be made
2. Revelations

Revelations smack of judgment.


Some things done in the name of God by people of religious communities have been some of the lowest acts of humanity.

While I’m not the clergy-person who might have caused you hurt, I would like to apologize on their behalf. Because, it seems, they owe you an apology—and at this time they are unable to give it to you.

House of worship reconciliation starts with recognizing the hurts we caused.

We, in the seat of humanity’s moral authority, have done great damage.

For that I apologize.


Some of the revelations might induce a shame response in you. Because when I say it that there is something you ought to be doing and it’s something that you committed to doing—like flossing—but you aren’t. That sometimes feels like shame.

I’m not really scolding you for not being at a standard higher than where you currently are. Nonetheless, I quote my friend Larry Keene who says, “Our standards are beyond us for a reason.”

For any shame caused by my encouraging you to live the best life you can, I apologize.

The revelations

The revelation is:

“Be yourself.”
“You belong.”
“The universe is glad you are here.”

The revelation is:

“Listen to Jimi Hendrix: Let the power of your love overtake your love of power.”

The revelation is:

“Be as filled with complaints and bitch about how miserable you are as much as you want.”

The revelation is:

“Grow up. Stop projecting a perfect cis-white male as God. It’s tedious.”

“Take your spiritualigous life seriously, because your life (in this world) depends on it.”

“How immaculately, how cleanly, how authentically you are you—you, unique, perfect snowflake—the better.”

“Don’t put off eternal life into the next world. You can find it, in moments, here. And now.”

The revelation is:

“God said this isn’t hide and seek, it’s right here in front of you.”

“God said you are the treasure map.”

“God asks, ‘Can you live as honestly as an 18-month old spontaneously bopping to music?’”

The revelation is:

“Be nice and laugh a little more, ok?”

ImageWith love,
Rabbi Brian (

Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer resides in Portland, Oregon. He is the founder and dean of students of Religion-Outside-The-Box, an internet-based, global group of 3K+ digital-age seekers. ROTB produces excellent spiritual content.

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